X-Men: Days of future patchoul
Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 6:05 am
There are many ways to miss a movie.
The first is obviously to have Nicolas Cage film it the day before his tax return deadline. But there are many others, which have already been explained on this blog. Now, the art of pedagogy being that of repetition, let's return to a simple rule, called the Odious Bastard rule , namely that to fail a film, there are three incredibly complicated elements to manage which, unless buy bulk sms service you pay particular attention to them, are a sure guarantee of failure. These are:
of God
big magic/uber powers
time travel
You'd think it wouldn't be that complicated, except that if you have either powers so powerful that they can solve every problem, or the ability to solve them before they even happen, the movie has little chance of lasting. Unless A) it's incredibly well-crafted and written, or B) it's a complete mess, making something coherent is tiring and nobody cares.
And since we're generally talking about Hollywood, I'll let you guess which solution wins.
So, when I heard that the next X-Men would be about people with time-traveling über-powers, you can imagine that I had stars in my eyes, especially when I tried to sand my retinas. So, I suggest not saying any more: so, X-Men: Days of Future Past, brilliant success or blockbuster with a script that holds up about as well as Professor Xavier?
Without further ado: let's spoil it, my dears!
The poster: explosions, flying robots, lightning, and blue people, Mr. Ambassador, you really spoiled us.
Our film opens somewhere in the future, and more precisely in the cheerful town of New York. Alas, it is a bit less cheerful than one might think at first glance, or even downright grumpy: in fact, it is devilishly in ruins. So it is in the middle of gutted buildings and streets transformed into battlefields of this desperate universe where Starbucks have disappeared (so the hipsters probably died of despair) that we discover good, slightly grumpy people who circulate within a gigantic futuristic prison camp (understand: the barbed wire is shimmering laser barbed wire. I know some who must have a big electricity bill). The voiceover of a certain Professor Xavier explains to us what it is all about: in the future, humans are at open war with mutants. They are hunted down and locked up, just like the humans who try to help them, because in the future, we don't really like these mutants who steal the bread of good humans and stay at home doing nothing while taking advantage of the RSA, my good lady.
The first is obviously to have Nicolas Cage film it the day before his tax return deadline. But there are many others, which have already been explained on this blog. Now, the art of pedagogy being that of repetition, let's return to a simple rule, called the Odious Bastard rule , namely that to fail a film, there are three incredibly complicated elements to manage which, unless buy bulk sms service you pay particular attention to them, are a sure guarantee of failure. These are:
of God
big magic/uber powers
time travel
You'd think it wouldn't be that complicated, except that if you have either powers so powerful that they can solve every problem, or the ability to solve them before they even happen, the movie has little chance of lasting. Unless A) it's incredibly well-crafted and written, or B) it's a complete mess, making something coherent is tiring and nobody cares.
And since we're generally talking about Hollywood, I'll let you guess which solution wins.
So, when I heard that the next X-Men would be about people with time-traveling über-powers, you can imagine that I had stars in my eyes, especially when I tried to sand my retinas. So, I suggest not saying any more: so, X-Men: Days of Future Past, brilliant success or blockbuster with a script that holds up about as well as Professor Xavier?
Without further ado: let's spoil it, my dears!
The poster: explosions, flying robots, lightning, and blue people, Mr. Ambassador, you really spoiled us.
Our film opens somewhere in the future, and more precisely in the cheerful town of New York. Alas, it is a bit less cheerful than one might think at first glance, or even downright grumpy: in fact, it is devilishly in ruins. So it is in the middle of gutted buildings and streets transformed into battlefields of this desperate universe where Starbucks have disappeared (so the hipsters probably died of despair) that we discover good, slightly grumpy people who circulate within a gigantic futuristic prison camp (understand: the barbed wire is shimmering laser barbed wire. I know some who must have a big electricity bill). The voiceover of a certain Professor Xavier explains to us what it is all about: in the future, humans are at open war with mutants. They are hunted down and locked up, just like the humans who try to help them, because in the future, we don't really like these mutants who steal the bread of good humans and stay at home doing nothing while taking advantage of the RSA, my good lady.